Just call me Martha Stewart: DIY Rustic Christmas Stocking

I have been officially sewing since January, and by officially, I mean that I have sewn a Pebbles costume for Kassidy for Halloween, two taggies for two very well-deserving little babies, and finally — Kassidy's Christmas stocking!

I won't even tell you that every time I approach a new sewing project, I usually have to sew at least one, sometimes two, practice projects first. Okay, I guess I will tell you. Because it's too funny not to.

Just ask Kassidy how her first Pebbles costume fit. Because, well, it didn't.

And Brady forced it over her head anyway. Poor baby. We had to literally cut her out of it. And limit her food intake in the process.

Nevertheless, as soon as Kassidy was born last July, I knew that I wanted to make her Christmas stocking, because I am a snob when it comes to Christmas decorations. And because I can never find exactly what I am wanting. And it's stupid to spend $50 on a stocking that I am not 100% in love with.

Too bad I was too hormonal and inept last Christmas to get her stocking made in time, but this year, I had no excuses. After thinking about making it since the first of this year, I finally sat down to make it about a month ago, and after only screwing up the first weekend of work, I quickly found my groove and produced this.

Not too shabby, huh?

So that you don't give me more credit than I deserve, I bought the burlap stocking with jingle bells at a discounted price from Old Bryan Marketplace last Christmas, so I did not have to make the actual stocking. But I did sew the patches, cuff, insert and add all the bling, so for that, you can give me credit.

In case any of you are curious how this beginner actually pulled this off, here's the step-by-step process.

First, I traced, cut and sewed the stocking insert. I used a khaki-colored fabric.

Then, I traced, cut and sewed the patches for my stocking using a red and white plaid fabric.

I used a red rose-patterned fabric to make my cuff.

Which I then hand sewed onto my stocking insert.

I used green embroidery thread to attach my patches to my burlap stocking.

Once my patches were on, and my stocking insert was stuffed into my stocking, I made a bow out of green velvet ribbon and sewed it to the edge of the cuff, adding a metal K button with some hot glue.

I also added conchos because I like conchos.

And then I hung Kassidy's stocking on the mantle with her Mommy's and Daddy's stockings (that were not sewn by me).

See how well they coordinate?

Just remember. If I can do this, anyone can. Anyone.

A vintage Christmas

I know that all of you who normally receive my awesome Christmas cards in the mail are heartbroken this year, but in order to make sure I stay on budget even through the holidays, I am sharing my card electronically with all of my Internet-savvy friends and family.

Next year, things will return to normal. Promise.

Why, you ask? Because starting in January, I will be returning to what I love best — as Marketing and Communications Director with the City of Bryan.

I'm very excited about this opportunity and cannot wait to return to what I am meant to do with my life.

Teaching has been an awesome experience, and I will miss my kiddos, especially the ones that say that dardnest things, but communications and marketing is where I belong.

So until next year, you'll just have to enjoy my Christmas card via my blog.

And look forward to snail mail in 2013.

Sophomores say the dardnest things

I've heard plenty of crazy comments from my kiddos over the past 12 weeks, so I've tried to remember a few of my favorites just for you.

These actual conversations with 15 year olds should make you smile. And hope that you never have a 15 year old.

Makeup leads to babies

At a home football game a few weeks back, I had the wonderful opportunity to hang out with some of my kids from class. They are all obsessed with Kassidy, and I had promised them during the day that I would make sure they got to hold her at the game. Fast forward to game time, in which one of my male students decides that Kassidy is the cutest baby he's ever seen. As I'm responding to comments about how pretty her eyes are, I happen to say that when she's a teenager, she shouldn't need to wear a lot of mascara because her eyelashes are so long.

And then my favorite male student, while holding Kassidy, looks right at me, directly in the eyes, and says:

"Makeup leads to gawking, gawking leads to kissing, and kissing leads to more babies, and we can't have any of that."

And then he adds that he wants to have a baby right then and there so his baby can date my baby.

And then I take my baby back from him and go home.

Smuggling children

Another one of my favorite Pre-AP students is begging me in class one morning to bring Kassidy to class one day so they can all play with her.

Me: "I wish I could guys, but then you would get nothing done all day."

Student: "Oh come on, Mrs. K. Bring your daughter to school one day so we can play with her. I can get her in. I'm Mexican."

Me: "What does being Mexican have to do with this conversation?"

It starts with a V

And my all-time favorite conversation took place with a student who always comes into my class and announces that he neglected to take his ADHD medication for the day. He does this a lot, so I finally ask him why he never takes his medicine.

Me: "What type of medication are you on anyway?"

Student (with a serious, thoughtful look on his face): "It starts with a V. I think it's called Vagisil?"

Me (laughing): "Sorry, son, but you're not on Vagisil."

And, what's really sad is that he never realized why I was laughing so hard.

The life of a first-year teacher

Yes, I'm alive. Promise. But in transitioning to the new job, I have realized that every day, I am more and more behind. And every day, I better get my butt moving so that I can mold the youth of America the following day.

So, I'm a little over two weeks into teaching, and I must admit that my experiences have been pretty dang interesting.

I never understood why teachers wore those lovely lanyards around their necks. I mean, they're not really a must-have accessory. But, on Day 2, after a certain teacher — ummm, Mrs. K — locked herself out of her own classroom, I quickly decided that lanyards were not only fashionable, but functional.

And, it only took less than two weeks for me to get my first poem from a student. Granted, he had gotten into trouble with the rest of the class, and he wanted me to know he was sorry and that he really liked my class, but it was a sweet poem nonetheless. And he made sure to close it with "Please don't hang this up." Ah, kids.

You wouldn't believe what gets a classroom of 15-year-olds going either. I mean, we can be reading a cuss word in Of Mice and Men, and then they can't stop laughing.

Or, during my awesome denotation/connotation lesson where we discussed word connotations and their more negative counterparts, you would think I gave each student a new car because they were allowed to use the word "slutty" compared to "promiscuous" or "druggie" compared to "substance abuser." Hey, whatever makes them remember a concept, right?

And yesterday my kids had a nice laugh when I came to school without a voice. And I still haven't gotten it back either. But I couldn't help but smile when one of them said, "Mrs. K, isn't that ironic that you lost your voice?"

"Why, yes. Yes, it is."

And then he told me my hair looked beautiful.

And then reality slapped me in the face again, and I got back to telling my kids to sit down and be quiet and work on their group activity.

All without a voice.