We're Expecting!

...this to be delivered to our house this weekend.


...and this to come home with us sometime next week.


What were you expecting to see on here?

27 words.

Friday Ku-Tip: Let me direct you

About five days ago my office phone started ringing. A lot. A lot more than usual. And with some of the most random questions.

"Yes, I'd like to make an appointment to spay my cat." Nope, not for me.

"I'd like to verify employment for {insert name other than people who actually work in the CEHD}." Never heard of them.

"I'd like to order a transcript." I don't handle transcripts.

"Yeah, uh, I need to book a racquetball court." This is not the Rec Center.

"Do you know when Texas A&M's homecoming is this fall?" We have homecoming?

I could go on and on, but I won't, because this post would never end.

I finally had enough gumption to ask one of the callers how they found my number.

Random Caller: "I Googled it."

"You Googled it?" I asked.

Random Caller: "Yes, when I Google Texas A&M University, this number appears."

Well crap. This is so wrong it's not even funny.

Sure enough, I went to Google and tried it myself, and this is exactly what appears.


Sorry, just got off the phone again. When will it end?

Ku-Tip: Memorize the university's main directory number. It comes in handy when you have to repeat it about 24 times a day.

210 words.

Expecting Pryce Photo Shoot

This was one of my first attempts at photography.

All I had to work with was a tired and grumpy 9 1/2 month pregnant woman and an abandoned building.

I think I made the building look pretty good.

And Kendra too.

Never Eat Soggy Worms

I knew my teachers taught me this for a very good reason when I was younger. And, I use this all the time when I'm trying to navigate where I'm going. But, I failed at cardinal directions (Yes, I had to Google cardinal) this past Saturday. And so did my brother, my husband and my dad.

We went to the Astros vs. Dodgers game at Minute Maid Park. We got to our seats just in time to see our military and heroes honored on the ninth anniversary of Sept. 11. I ate a lemon chill (Yum!). Dad ate ice cream in a cute little Astros cup. The Dodgers scored three runs in the top of the 4th. The Astros tied it up by the bottom of the 5th. Dad ran out of ice cream. The Astros ran out of time (I blame Dad — we played well every time he took a bite of his ice cream; when he ran out, we never scored again). We left the game.

And headed home. Or so we thought.

You see, Darrell lives near Brookshire, which is a small town WEST of Katy, WEST of Houston.

We thought we were heading WEST.

But then we see a sign for — wait for it. BEAUMONT!

Beaumont is not WEST. Beaumont is EAST!

We were actually only in Pasadena. Don't think we were crazy enough to actually end up in Beaumont before we realized we were going the wrong direction.

No, the honor of "Farthest Drive Out of the Way" definitely goes to my sister and her blonde pals, who — get this — had gone to Austin from College Station for the weekend. Instead of taking 290 E back home, they took 290 W, but — here's the clincher — they didn't realize it until they were in Junction, which is only 141.62 miles (according to MapQuest) WEST of Austin! Crazy girls.

Anyway, we turned around in Pasadena and continued our journey WEST. We enjoyed our extra 40-minute scenic drive. We enjoyed quoting South Park. We enjoyed blaming each other for going the wrong way.

We enjoyed wondering what would have happened IF we had ended up in Louisiana. The consensus — one girl, three guys and a casino. And, one very late night.

373 words.

Secrets to a Key-os-ki Marriage

Pictured above: Newlyweds on 9/9/06.

Four years ago today, I became Mrs. Jenna Kujawski (Key-os-ki for those who are still curious). But don't worry, I answer to just about any form of the last name (or first), including, but not limited to, Ku-jaw-ski, Ku-jowl-ski, Ka-wa-sa-ki, Mrs. K, Jenna K, Mike Wazowski, Dirtclaude, Ninna, and Brock's favorite — Jenna-tell-ya. Yes, I go by a lot of different names.

And, in four years of marriage, I've also learned a lot about compromise. I've learned that men and women are wired completely differently, but that's okay, because it's both a mystery and a challenge to see how each day gives us new opportunities to find ways to cohabitate peacefully together.

So, I thought I'd do myself a favor and share all (well, all 20) of the secrets to our happy little marriage. Maybe if I write these down now I won't forget what actually works!

1. I wanted 12 barn cats. Brady wanted one. We have four. When Mouse dies, I don't think I'm allowed to replace her.
2. Brady never wanted Massey to be allowed inside. I wanted her to be allowed both inside and out. The black dog hairs throughout the house should tell you who won this one. But she is NOT allowed in the bed. I do have boundaries people.
3. I hate watching golf and other boring sports on TV. Brady hates watching anything on the CW. We watch crime shows instead.
4. Brady has questioned the purpose and need for every animal on our farm. But we're up to 23, so I must be convincing. Besides, when I catch him petting a donkey or holding a cat and say, "Ah, see, you do like them," he responds with, "No, they like me."
5. I wanted to assign specific chores to each of us. Brady wanted a free-for-all. Now I just nag Brady to help me with the chores.
6. When the Cowboys play the Colts, I wear blue and try to keep my mouth shut. I'm not very good at this.
7. If Brady starts dinner, I let him finish. No meddling.
8. I surprise Brady with a case of beer from time to time. Or a handle of Forty Creek. Or new underwear.
9. I don't let him win at anything. He doesn't let me win at anything. We like competition.
10. I argue in points. Brady hates it when I argue in points. He says I'm a) talking to him like a child, b) trying to use my lawyer-talk on him and c) trying to be condescending. I'm just trying to make a point (or three).
    
11. I don't iron.
12. Brady has a jeep. Enough said.
13. Brady hates it when I leave the milk out in between bowels of cereal. I hate it when he leaves the laundry in the dryer for days. Both of these things happened this week.
14. Brady has his own bathroom. I don't clean it. Neither does he.
15. I like the temperature on 78-79. Brady likes it on 74-75. We keep it on 76-77.
16. I like my toilet paper to roll from the top. Brady likes it to roll from the bottom. Brady doesn't usually replace the toilet paper.
17. I pay the bills. All of them. Brady doesn't even know all the accounts and passwords to access them. I keep a spreadsheet of them just in case. Brady doesn't know where that spreadsheet is.
18. Brady is a better gift wrapper than I am, so I let him do it.
19. When I'm cold, Brady gets up to either get me a blanket or turn down the temperature. I never even have to ask.
    
20. And, finally. I know every birthday and every anniversary on both sides of the family. I try to keep Brady up-to-date so he can look like the loving son/brother/uncle/friend/etc. Sometimes I do fall down on the job. I'm only human people.

655 words. Sorry.