Sunday, March 4, 2012

Garage doors can kill

Or at least make you cry like a baby.

Fortunately for me, I just cried like a baby. But I didn't die.

I know what you're thinking. "How did a garage door almost kill you? You live in a trailer house. You don't even have a garage?"

Yes, this is all true. But that's because a garage door almost killed me in college.

Okay, so I lived in a trailer house in college too. I know, I have a thing for temporary housing. But Brady lived in an actual house with his three roommates, and they had a garage.

So see friends, this is a true story. I swear. And while I did not, for any reason, think it was funny at the time, I now find myself laughing every time I think about it.

Probably because I know I looked like an idiot.

And nobody came to my rescue.

As I stood outside in Brady's driveway with eight of my 10 fingers slammed in the groove of his garage door. Apparently I wasn't paying attention where I placed my fingers to help shut the garage door.

And I couldn't yell for help. Nobody was home. And I couldn't call for help, because you need fingers to dial a number, and my fingers were preoccupied.

So I just stood there, crying, with my face pressed up against the garage door, thinking "this is how I am going to die. This is how Brady will find my dead body. And thank goodness I don't need to go to the bathroom."

And thank goodness Facebook didn't exist back then. Or Smartphones. Or else I would have ended up all over the Internet.

Well good thing I didn't have to think about my death for too long, because all of a sudden, my purple, flattened fingers slipped out of the door.

And I calmly walked back to my Explorer, inspected my fingers, realized they didn't need to be amputated, and drove away.

And called Brady to tell him exactly what happened. And that I would never, ever, ever, ever, ever touch his garage door again. Especially by myself.

And Brady still decided to marry me. And have a baby with me. And just recently, we remembered this story, and I retold it just like I did above, and we both looked at each other and started laughing.

And one day, I will tell Kassidy this story. And embarrass her in front of her friends or boyfriend. And it will be awesome.

And she will probably give me this look.

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