Sisters Say the Darndest Things: Vol. 1

Sisters. Can't live with them. Can't live without them.

And, my own sister is of a rare breed. You see, she couldn't even brush her teeth when we were younger without asking for my help or advice. But, now that we're grown, I find that I go to her more and more for help. Like, how to have, care for and keep babies alive — she is on baby number two, so she must be doing something right. Right?

But what I love most about my sister is that she says the darndest things. Either really cute things that make you go, "Ah, you're so cute when you say that." Or really dumb things that make you slap your forehead. Or, better yet, really dirty things that make you accidentally spit water out of your nose.

And, yesterday was no different. We met up for a quick Chinese-food lunch. And, when two pregnant ladies get together to eat, you have four eyes, not just two, that are bigger than stomachs. So, we did what we thought made sense and ordered two appetizers with our meals.

Spring rolls to be exact. And, poor Kendra had never had a spring roll because according to her, "I don't eat that sushi shit."

I explained that spring rolls were like egg rolls, only they weren't fried.

"Sure," she said. "I'll try it."

So the spring rolls arrive and she gets this awful, nasty, disgusting look on her face. She picks the spring roll up with two fingers and stares at it.

"What the hell is this? I thought you said it was an egg roll!"

Apparently she had already forgotten I said it was NOT like an egg roll.

She takes a small bite. Like, a little nibble.

"This is disgusting. I can't do it. It looks like freakin' lettuce wrapped in a condom."

Yep, that's what she said. At a restaurant. In a loud voice.

And then I couldn't eat the spring rolls anymore.

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The Ultimate Shenanigan

Yes, I have unintentionally neglected this blog. Hush it friends. I've been feeling like crap. But, I'm slowly starting to feel like myself again, and I promise not to let you all down anymore. I will not only keep posting weekly, but I promise to still tell of our Lazy K shenanigans with the same humor and poise that I have been using all along. Even if our lives are about to change forever.

You see, about 12 weeks ago, Brady snuck into my personal space.

The result. A little baby is on the way.

Bad Brady. How dare you take advantage of me?

How dare you give me an excuse to eat whatever I want and put on weight and you still love me?

And thanks for making sure it will be a nice 150 degrees outside when the baby will make it’s debut.

You’re such an awesome husband. And dad.

Hey, that has a nice ring to it.

And as long as it has your beautifully long eyelashes and my itty-bitty teeny-weeny peanut head, this whole labor thing may just be a breeze. And, it will come out lookin’ pretty cute too.

So, thank you for helping us both become parents. And, thank you Kendra for being so hard to surprise with the news.

Only my sister would unwrap a p-test that read “pregnant” on it and think it was a stick reaffirming that she was already pregnant. It took a few minutes for her to realize the stick was referring to me.

And, it took less than 20 seconds for Pryce to put the p-test in his mouth. Don’t worry. The cap was still on. What kind of family do you think we are?

Proof that he does put almost anything in his mouth, like my toothbrush.

See Kendra. If Pryce keeps that habit up, he may really have a baby in his belly.

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Rabroker Family | 2009 & 2010 Christmas Card Designs

I always have fun designing Kendra's Christmas cards for two main reasons. 1) She doesn't give me any rules, so I can pretty much do what I want, and 2) Making fun of her family is not off limits.

This makes for some pretty interesting designs.

Check out 2009.

And my follow-up card this year.

You have to get pretty creative when your nephew decides he does not want his picture taken and all you have to work with is what you see above.

Mission accomplished.

Friday Ku-Tip: What are friends for?

Reason #11: We made a snowman together

Last week I was lazy.

The week before I was preparing to be lazy.

But my awesome friend Tracy keeps reminding me that I have neglected to write a Friday Ku-Tip in two weeks.

Tracy, I'm sorry. Please forgive me. And here's ten reasons why you should.

1. I made sure you had an awesome time at my wedding. You know you still thank me for it.
2. I know where you live.
3. You threw Whataburger ketchup on Brady. And it busted all over him. And we laughed.
4. We've shared some special (and freezing cold) moments skiing in Colorado.
5. My grandma lives in Hallettsville.
6. I will talk you out of whatever you need me to. I will talk you into whatever you need me to.
7. I let you hold my goat.
8. I tried to make you a part of the family. You and Dustin didn't cooperate.
9. I believe everything you tell me.
10. I approve of your love of animals. I approve of your rabbit, your dog, your cat and your future chickens. I also approve of the baby goat I'm about to bring you next weekend. Well, only if you're lucky.

Ku-Tip: Don't neglect your blog, or your friend Tracy will harass you over Gmail chat for two weeks!

217 words.