Sisters Say the Darndest Things: Vol. 1

Sisters. Can't live with them. Can't live without them.

And, my own sister is of a rare breed. You see, she couldn't even brush her teeth when we were younger without asking for my help or advice. But, now that we're grown, I find that I go to her more and more for help. Like, how to have, care for and keep babies alive — she is on baby number two, so she must be doing something right. Right?

But what I love most about my sister is that she says the darndest things. Either really cute things that make you go, "Ah, you're so cute when you say that." Or really dumb things that make you slap your forehead. Or, better yet, really dirty things that make you accidentally spit water out of your nose.

And, yesterday was no different. We met up for a quick Chinese-food lunch. And, when two pregnant ladies get together to eat, you have four eyes, not just two, that are bigger than stomachs. So, we did what we thought made sense and ordered two appetizers with our meals.

Spring rolls to be exact. And, poor Kendra had never had a spring roll because according to her, "I don't eat that sushi shit."

I explained that spring rolls were like egg rolls, only they weren't fried.

"Sure," she said. "I'll try it."

So the spring rolls arrive and she gets this awful, nasty, disgusting look on her face. She picks the spring roll up with two fingers and stares at it.

"What the hell is this? I thought you said it was an egg roll!"

Apparently she had already forgotten I said it was NOT like an egg roll.

She takes a small bite. Like, a little nibble.

"This is disgusting. I can't do it. It looks like freakin' lettuce wrapped in a condom."

Yep, that's what she said. At a restaurant. In a loud voice.

And then I couldn't eat the spring rolls anymore.

330 words.