Thursday, March 3, 2011

My Baby is Half Baked!

Four months apart and glowing (we'll blame the sun).
Teagan will be here March 7 and Baby K will arrive July 16.

Well, I've kept my pregnancy posts to a minimum, but I hit a milestone this week, and I thought, "Well, I'm gonna talk about it whether you want me to or not." So, please keep reading everyone. I promise it's still funny. Promise.

I am officially half-way done with this pregnancy! And, for the most part, it really hasn't been that bad. I've only yelled at Brady a few times, but he deserved it. Even his sister said so. Her exact words were, "Yeah, I'd punch him in the face." See, he deserved it.

And I know what you're all wondering right now, so I'll do my best to try to answer all your questions.

No, we still don't know what Baby K is. My doctor likes to wait until 23-24 weeks, meaning that we'll find out March 22. Finally! So, everyone, please put March 22 on your calendar. I know you want to. We sure do.

The baby's room is going to be decorated the same no matter what the baby decides to be. I mean, Brady's guitars do have to go somewhere. We drew straws, and the baby lost.

I may or may not have felt the baby move this past weekend. It was either the baby or gas, and since I've never been pregnant before, I'm not really good at telling the difference. If it was the baby, then it really likes John Wayne movies, especially The Searchers. This means I may have to let Brady add his favorite name back to our short list — John Wayne Kujawski.

I've gained 15 pounds. The scale is not my friend. And it's not because I've been fat and lazy. I walk, lift weights, fix fence, wrestle goats and still play tennis, and the numbers keep going up. And up. And up. I think this is a very cruel joke.

Massey doesn't know I'm pregnant. We've decided not to tell her. We'll just come home one day with this extra little person and say, "Surprise!"

So, there you go. 20 weeks down. 20 weeks to go. And July 16 will be here before we know it — just in time for Brady's birthday.

362 words.

Friday, February 25, 2011

Friday Ku-Tip: Why butt dialing is so much cooler than texting

The culprit.
At least to Brady.

Apparently, Brady likes to butt dial people a lot. And, sadly, it's not even me that gets the most calls. It's his poor sister Tiffany. I'm sure by now when she sees a call from her little brother, she knows exactly how to handle the conversation. I imagine it going something like this:

Tiff: "Oh, I'm sorry Brady that you're having such a crappy day."

Tiff: "What! I don't believe you. You're so full of shit."

Tiff: "Well, next time tell that little wife of yours to please leave the seat up."

Okay, that makes me giggle.

Well, Brady took his butt dialing to a whole new level a few days ago when he called his dad — while he was teaching.

So Daniel got to enjoy a few minutes of listening to Brady teach his algebra class. I wonder if he yelled at any students that day?

And, if any of you know Brady, you know he really sucks at keeping up with his friends and family on the phone. In fact, I'm always on his case to call people. Always.

Well, now his butt is on his case too.

Ku-Tip: Butt dialing is way funnier than texting or calling. But if you don't want to participate in this form of communication, have no fear. There's this neat little feature on every phone that locks it so you don't have to worry about buttons being pushed. I'll have to fill Brady in on this little secret.

250 words.

Monday, February 21, 2011

Hear No Evil. See No Evil. Speak No Evil.


I think this picture says it all.

7 words.

Friday, February 18, 2011

Friday Ku-Tip: How not to post on Craigslist

This picture has absolutely NOTHING to do with this post. But I wanted to show off the awesome leather sign I made for our barn. In 2011. Only two years late.
How do you get motivated to clean out your office? Get pregnant. The baby has to live somewhere.

How do you quickly get rid of all the crap in your office? Post it on Craigslist. And be prepared. Be very prepared.

Be prepared to have 21 million phone calls in one hour. Note to self. Don't post my number next time.

Be prepared to have to call all the people back that missed out on your awesome deal. Note to self. Don't be so nice next time.

Be prepared to deliver. Note to self. We are way too nice.

And finally, be prepared to be stalked. Note to self. Don't be way too nice and don't post my number online.

And don't keep answering your cell phone when the buyer of your old computer keeps calling you for tech support (which was not part of my awesome Craigslist deal). Or asks me to pick her up and take her to get her medication. Seriously? What if I was a crazy person.

At least all my pain and suffering earned me $300. And an empty office. And a reality check.

Ku-Tip: Don't be too nice to people who contact you on Craigslist. If you're lucky, they will want to be your best friend. And keep calling you. Over. And over. And over.

Oh, and on a completely unrelated note. Brady is awesome. Brady is amazing. Brady is the smartest person I know. Yep, you all had to hear that because Brady was the only person to participate in my little musician contest. And he got them all right. Why? Because he's the smartest person I know. See, that could have been you.

281 words.