Sisters Say the Darndest Things: Vol. 2

My sister says the darndest things. And she's a creeper.

A while back, my family was sitting around a table at the Horseshoe Cafe in Franklin, America, eating our yummy lunch and poking fun at one another.

The target this particular day was my sister, and she was an easy target because at this point in her life, she didn't have Internet or cable. Or more than two local channels that actually worked.

So, as usual, I was making fun of her.

"How the heck do you even know what's going on in the world?"

"I don't," she tells me in her matter-of-fact tone. "Hell, I didn't even know the cost of stamps had gone up!"

"Seriously?" We're all laughing pretty hard at this point.

"Oh, you think that's funny?" she yells back at me, laughing. "Try having ALL your mail returned!"

Poor Kendra. Two cents short. So her mail was returned. And by mail, I mean bills.

Fast forward to last week. Brady and I meet Mom, Kendra, Pryce and Teagan at Ozona to celebrate us finally knowing we're having a little girl.

How do I know Kendra's son is just like his momma? Because he says the darndest things too.

So, again, we're poking fun at Kendra. I really don't know why. But I say to her, "Whatever, your mom goes to college." And, I look over and smile lovingly at my mom, who is there. And, listening to all this.

And, Pryce, in his infinite 2-year-old wisdom, looks right at me and Brady and says very clearly, "No, my daddy goes to college."

Maybe it was only funny to us because we think Pryce hung the moon. Or maybe it was funny to us because Pryce was smart enough to come up with that comment. Or maybe it was funny to us because in his Uncle Brady's eyes, he has years to teach Pryce funny comments and your-momma jokes.

Or maybe, just maybe, it made me see that my sister did pass along at least one trait to her son — Pryce is a smart ass.

338 words.

What the heck is a scoon?

Just ask Brady. He invented it. The word I mean. Not a scoon.

Last week we were driving home late from College Station.

A few miles before our turnoff on Hwy 46, we both notice this semi-large animal dragging another dead animal off the road.

"Holy cow! Did you see that?" I asked him. "That was a big-ass raccoon with an armadillo I think."

"Yeah, I did see that," Brady responded back. "That was one big-ass squirrel!"

"Squirrel? Seriously? You thought it was a squirrel."

"Ah, you know what I meant. That was one large scoon."

"Scoon? Seriously?" as I'm trying to keep my laughter to a minimum at this point.

"Ah, you know what I mean. A stupid raccoon. I'm tired. I'm ready to be home."

And that's how Brady added a new word to the English vocabulary.

I like to define a scoon as a rodent of medium size that is a cross between a squirrel and raccoon. Except that Brady and I can't agree if a scoon has the head of a raccoon and the body of a squirrel or vice versa.

So, I used my awesome Photoshop skills to create two scoons. And everyone better agree with me because I hate losing to Brady almost as much as he hates losing to me.

Scoon #1

Scoon #2

217 words.

The Waiting List

This picture has nothing to do with this post.
Except that I want to show off my newest niece — Miss Teagan Jayne Rabroker.

Do any of you ever read my blog, scratch your head and ask yourself, "Why does Jenna live in the middle of nowhere?"

Don't lie. I'm sure some of you do.

Well, I'm about to give you at least one good reason.

It's the same reason that for the most part, I feel like I live a pretty stress-free life — well, outside of work at least. I try to be content with what I have. I try not to worry about the dumb stuff. I don't care about keeping up with the rest of the world. Brady and I just like to relax. And hang outside. And have friends over. And sing to the guitar. And drink on the back porch of the barn. And laugh at our animals.

Yep, it's a pretty good life.

But, seriously guys, I've got to share another awesome reason for living out in the country near a small town.

And, you mothers and expectant mothers out there will be totally jealous.

I called the daycare in Franklin back in January to see if I could get on the waiting list for my unborn child. This is exactly how the conversation happened.

Me: "Yes ma'am. I'd like to get on the waiting list for my baby."

Daycare girl: "Ma'am, how old is your child?"

Me: "Um. Um. Unborn? It won't be here until July 16."

Daycare girl: "Oh, well, you're a tad bit early. We just need six weeks to get a spot ready. Why don't you just come in and sign the paperwork once you're on maternity leave?"

Me: "Um. Um. So, there's not a waiting list I need to get on?"

Daycare girl: "Nope. We don't ever have to worry about waiting lists. And with your child starting daycare in September, we'll have already moved kids around for the new year. We'll have room for your baby. Or we'll make room."

Me: "Okay. Sounds good. See you in July!"

Yep, there are no waiting lists in Franklin. And finding a daycare for my baby took all but 3 minutes. And while you can laugh and say, "Ah, well, it's the only daycare in Franklin," — which it is, it's an awesome daycare. And it's right across from the high school. And it's cheap. And there are no waiting lists.

And it's another reason why I love living near small towns.

396 words.

30 Things To Do Before I'm 30

On February 13, my sweet little Auder reminded me that it was my half birthday. What does that mean? That means that in less than six short months, I'll be turning the big 3-0. And it reminded me of the list I created 5 years ago. A list that contained 30 things I hoped to accomplish before I left my 20s behind forever.

I'd be lying if I told you that I completed everything on my list. I didn't. I didn't plan on it. But it's nice to know that I made a good dent in it — 11 crossed off so far. And it's nice to think that I still have plenty of time to enjoy crossing the other 19 off. Before I turn 35.

Hmmm...maybe I'll add 5 more goals to that list just because I can?

My Top 30 Things To Do Before I'm 30

1. Get married — 5 years this year!
2. Go parasailing
3. Get my master’s — 2005 baby.
4. Start a family — Barely checked this off in time. Kassidy Reese arrived on July 6. Read the full story.
5. Go on an Alaskan cruise
6. Visit all 50 states (23ish down!)
7. Buy land — Have you read my blog?
8. Build our dream home
9. Get a puppy — Duh.
10. Go whitewater rafting — Our first anniversary on the Middle Fork of the Flathead River in Montana.
11. Run a marathon, triathlon or other race (4-6-08 — Big D Half Marathon; 2 hrs, 7 min, 11 sec — WHOOP!!)
12. Become an aunt — Thanks Phoenix, Pryce, Mia & Teagan.
13. Visit Switzerland
14. Go on annual trips with friends
15. Go to a drive-in movie theater — Finally! Check it out.
16. Ride in a hot air balloon
17. Visit every state park in Texas
18. Visit the Grand Canyon — North Rim in Summer 2010.
19. Go to a Hoelscher-Buxkemper reunion with Kendra and Ray — 2012 will be in Columbus. We can still make it!
20. Get a four-wheeler or 4X4 jeep — Did I mention a ton of jeep accessories?
21. Get my concealed handgun’s license (and become a better shot!)
22. Read the entire Bible
23. Visit Canada
24. Learn to make homemade jelly and jam
25. Learn to sew from Mom and Grandma
26. Watch an Aggie Game from a box seat
27. Build a barn — Done. In 2009. Thanks Daniel and Anthony!
28. Organize my family’s history
29. Visit all the major battle sites in Texas
30. Host a Smith-Wuthrich-Kujawski-Rabroker holiday gathering — Pretty sure we've all partied together for birthdays or baby showers or something. I'm counting it!

And, here's a few pictures to remind me of #11, because — well, because I miss being in shape. And if I look at these pictures enough, it will motivate me to train for another race after the baby's born. Or, at least think about training.

My awesome coaches/fans

In the zone

Brady took half credit for my medal

461 words.

My Baby is Half Baked!

Four months apart and glowing (we'll blame the sun).
Teagan will be here March 7 and Baby K will arrive July 16.

Well, I've kept my pregnancy posts to a minimum, but I hit a milestone this week, and I thought, "Well, I'm gonna talk about it whether you want me to or not." So, please keep reading everyone. I promise it's still funny. Promise.

I am officially half-way done with this pregnancy! And, for the most part, it really hasn't been that bad. I've only yelled at Brady a few times, but he deserved it. Even his sister said so. Her exact words were, "Yeah, I'd punch him in the face." See, he deserved it.

And I know what you're all wondering right now, so I'll do my best to try to answer all your questions.

No, we still don't know what Baby K is. My doctor likes to wait until 23-24 weeks, meaning that we'll find out March 22. Finally! So, everyone, please put March 22 on your calendar. I know you want to. We sure do.

The baby's room is going to be decorated the same no matter what the baby decides to be. I mean, Brady's guitars do have to go somewhere. We drew straws, and the baby lost.

I may or may not have felt the baby move this past weekend. It was either the baby or gas, and since I've never been pregnant before, I'm not really good at telling the difference. If it was the baby, then it really likes John Wayne movies, especially The Searchers. This means I may have to let Brady add his favorite name back to our short list — John Wayne Kujawski.

I've gained 15 pounds. The scale is not my friend. And it's not because I've been fat and lazy. I walk, lift weights, fix fence, wrestle goats and still play tennis, and the numbers keep going up. And up. And up. I think this is a very cruel joke.

Massey doesn't know I'm pregnant. We've decided not to tell her. We'll just come home one day with this extra little person and say, "Surprise!"

So, there you go. 20 weeks down. 20 weeks to go. And July 16 will be here before we know it — just in time for Brady's birthday.

362 words.